It has been one week since I've sat in your splendor. Seven days since your wind tangled my hair and your pigeons blocked my path. As my plane flew away, I leaned ever so impolitely over the woman with the window seat to watch you fade into clouds. Somehow, from a hundred feet in the sky you seem so small, so close. When we first met, I was broken and a little naive; you were loud and harsh. But somehow we fell in love. As I think of your landscape, my mind recalls lessons learned and souls met:
- The grungy homeless man who told me how to ride the bus to Seattle U. The world's not quite as scary as I thought.
- The woman who passed out on 3rd by McDonald's. The scared, young man with her. The world is scary and I can't help everyone.
- Charlene from family kitchen. She wore ginormous sunglasses and told me stories about "gentlemen." Everyone has a story that needs to be heard.
- Olga at Piroshky Piroshky at Pike Market. I worked a day for her and never got paid. No lesson yet.
- The old couple that takes walks at Seattle U. They always match. Sometimes love really does last forever.
- The driver of the 4 at night. Made sure I was safe. People are often good, even when they don't have to be.
- The guy who screamed for his wife from outside of the YWCA for my entire 4 hour shift. Safe places are important. I hope she found hers.
- The man who smokes a pipe at Seattle U. Bad habits often smell nice.
- The landlady of the "Death House" (See Addie's phone for a proper name). Some days, our houses try to kill us. We must strengthen our spirits with laughter, friendship, and flavorless Chicken Noodle Soup.
- The older Middle Eastern man who works at 7-11 on Madison. Kindness matters.
- The homeless woman who cries. I always wonder how many people ignore her completely. At least I can listen, even if I can't help her pocketbook, I can hear her heart.
- My babies at Childhaven. Broken, but still good. Yeah, still good. Love, laughter, warm blankets, stories, Spanish lullabies, soapy bubbles, Slippery Fish, tears, naps, snuggles, paint, and most of all a thousand kind and thoughtful acts can bring lives back together.
These and so many other near-strangers have brought me much needed wisdom. In time, strangers turned to dear ones. You brought together friends from low places and let them sing loud. You knit us together with your fog and bade us to spend hours together just being us. You gave us Alki to find a story of friendship. You gave me Volunteer to run around. You gave the girls the skyline framed in our windows. You gave us a park with a view and a playground to give us laughter when hearts were scared of leaving.
Seattle, you are blessed with a peculiar grace. Your hipsters, your public parks, coffee shops, and bars have marked my life. The Jade Garden and Lambrusco. Vivace and Chopstix. E. Columbia, Broadway, 25th Ave S, and Madison. You have been my home.
I learned of life's deepest meanings with you. Of saving faith and quiet questioning. Of friendship and hope. Of falling into and tumbling out of love. Of being broken hearted and breaking hearts. Of deepest grief. Of skippingly happy. Of being lost and found at the same time. Of searching and finding that only love prevails. Of football and baseball. Of falling asleep on the couch. Of late nights and early mornings. Of flowers in my box on a hard day. Of breakfast in bed. Of a day in Ballard. Of being with all of you. Of breaks from the dizzying chaos. Of Dawson's Creek and Sex in the City. Of silence and solitude and morning coffee. Of finding a voice and using it. Of fireworks, BBQ, ice cream, and one last group hug. Of the power of your heart holding mine. Yes, Seattle, you taught me of love.
There is something you must understand, dear city. It isn't that I don't love you. I love you like I love the sun sneaking through the clouds. You have been good to me. Our relationship will not shatter when I go. You will always be my first city and the second stop on my trip home. But, I must go. I need different horizons for awhile, a slowing of pace, a different sort of grace. I need time to explore different worlds. To spread love like you taught me.
Seattle, I will never stop loving you. And as we said our tearful goodbye seven days ago, I knew that we have just begun our adventure. Yes, we must part for now but I take you with me when I go. You have made me whole. Such love is never lost. It can only grow. And so, dear one, I leave with memories steeped in gratitude and the knowledge that with a love like ours, there is no goodbye, only a promise to continue to hold one another's hearts, even if separated by oceans. For, far reaches the arms of a fierce friend and a dear one's heart is sewn within one's own soul. And so we say, "see you soon." I see you in my heart always.
Hasta pronto y te amo siempre.
me
